A long time ago, I was happy and well paid. Writing software that I found to be an absolute doddle to do, if only boring beyond all extreme. In the manner of many a world-weary software engineer, I decided to take the most obvious solution which was:
go mad and say "fuck" to it all!
I really did not think I would end up at the wrong end of the mental health system, I had been considered quite intelligent until I discovered beer, women and cigarettes. It just goes to show, doesn't it?
So, now it is thirteen years of living under one of the following labels:
Psychotic Episodes
Bipolar Affective Disorder
Schizo Affective Disorder
I don't really care what label they give me, just as long as they give me the help I need.
Things were just getting back to normal, I had just qualified with a "Preparation for Teaching in the Lifelong Services Sector" (Level 4) and was looking forward to utilising this new-found ability or talent of mine to corrupt the minds of the future!
For the length of December, I celebrated like a convinced Mayan without care nor abandon with regards to both health and wealth. Admittedly, it was my birthday the week before Christmas, so a small libation would not really have been frowned upon. The trouble is, from my very first Psychiatric Care Plan (in 2000) excessive alcohol consumption has always been a trigger for my particular brand of idiocy. Since that day, I have certainly drank less than I did as a student (but to drink more would surely be an impossibility) and have quite happily engaged with the Mental Health Services.
In June 2012 my father died on the Bank Holiday and was cremated the day after I had been signed-off by the Community Mental Health Team, as if I would not be affected by something so trivial! Still, one less city fan, that's what I say (under bated breath and in private, obviously). Since then I have completed and passed the PTLLS course, which I did find a little stressful, as I have not really studied properly for nearly twenty years! It must be like riding a bike!
However, what with the world not ending and all the alcohol, I kind of lost it again. Losing my temper at the drop of a hat (even with my friends, not just the idiots that are often presented before me). I was assigned to the Home Treatment Crisis team and given Diazepam for a week. I am now on some kind sedative which is less addictive (doesn't half make you sleepy, though).
However, given all of the above, I cannot believe that IRIE Mind, feel that I may only visit their "Mental Health Service" for one hour a day! It's funny when you can be chairman of the board of trustees at one (far superior) mental health charity, based around creative arts and not be allowed to make a cup of tea or stay for more than 60 minutes at a den of thieves and liars just around the corner!
You honestly would not believe the Agreement I was forced to sign, which was due for assessment last Friday, only to be told it was to remain in place for longer still because I "had been arguing with people and still had an elevated mood".
Well, I have applied to City & Hackney Mind at Tudor Road for a complaints form. Fingers crossed with that one, but whatever happens, I am not going to put up with kind of rubbish anymore!
S. J. Farrant
12/02/13
an off and on diatribe with the world at general, whenever someone just seems to pique my anger or wrath!
